Networking: How to Get Referrals

Networking is about mutually beneficial relationships. If you plan to register at a Chamber of Commerce organization or any other organization for "networking" and go to two events and hand out a business card or two and expect to get business, you're going to be disappointed. You could even go for years and not get the contacts you need. You need relationships of value, people who know you and trust you. This is going to start with the people who know you or know your parents. This is not multi-level marketing, this is real life. Outside of this, you need to be ready for opportunities, make a good and strong first impression, and find a reason for a second meeting. The truth of the matter is, people sell to who they like.

You might wonder, what is the fine line between being a "walking sales pitch" and a friend? How do you distinguish the two? But, if you ask that question, you are missing the point. The point is, you are a friend and you give. Take notice if they give back. One way to gauge if the person that you're talking with understands the concept of mutually benefitting one another [you could also call it, others-oriented] is to ask them how they are doing or another general question. Do they answer the question and return the question to you or do they sit and stare and expect you to do all the asking? You know the people I'm talking about. This is a strong sign that this person doesn't understand the first thing about being a friend. This person is a "ministry" and not a beneficial relationship. Ministry is serving others without expecting a return. This is a good thing but goes in a different category. If you want business any time soon it's probably going to be better to find people who believe in mutually benefitting relationships. In some cases, you may need to try harder to gain friendship, but if a person can't carry a simple give and take conversation, then you need to consider this one a ministry. Move on to those that actually care about getting to know you. Some of you may turn me off for saying that, but it's the truth. I'm not saying be phony or rude, but I am saying, don't waste your time looking for something where you aren't going to get it.

So, you can join an organization if you would like. But, if you don't harness the organization to gain relationships and build credibility and trust, then you are wasting your time.

If you have trouble meeting people, then, you are going to continue not having business. From my experience and study of excellent networkers, the majority of networking is learned. But, the main part is: give. Give a lot. When you meet someone, how can you give to them. Then, and only then, will you get something of real value in return. The second thing is appreciation. Do you appreciate others? For example, do you remember people's names or information that they tell you when you meet them? Work on these for effective networking. Make them a priority.

The next blog will be about how to define your business. Because, when you get to a mutually beneficial relationships status, you need to be ready to communicate this well when the opportunity comes.

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